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17 December 2013 @ 05:01 pm
Hands of Fate: Chapter One  
Title: Caught in the Hands of Fate
Author: fadedsparks
Beta: lunadragonx
Art: trueshellz
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rated: R, with NC-17 in later chapters
Genre: AU, Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: This isn't meant to offend anyone and I am making no profit from it.
Warnings: Violence and Homophobia. Also, Jensen and Jared are the same age in this story.
Summary: Jensen has had his share of ups and downs, but he pushes forward and tries not to take life for granted. Starting college in California seems like the right choice for him, and everything is going better than he imagined it would. However, fate can be a tricky thing sometimes.



-~*~-
Chapter One:
Spread Your Wings & Fly Away
-~*~-


September 2nd, 1999

Jensen shifts in his seat aboard the Greyhound bus to relieve the ache in his backside and turns his eyes to the left to stare out the window. The person sitting next to him has fallen asleep and is snoring rather loudly; it is finally starting to get on Jensen's nerves. It has been a long bus ride from Texas to California and he is tired of being on the road, tired of the crowded bus.

His heart is heavy with burden, but he is also anxious to arrive at his destination. He has vowed to make a life for himself here in California, and not dwell over the past. He can still remember the moment he walked out to the mailbox and found his acceptance letter waiting for him. He was so overjoyed and excited when he ripped open the envelope and read the words written on the crisp white paper. He had achieved his goal. He was one step closer to the life he had always wanted.

California State has been the college he has wanted to go to ever since he was in junior high. He worked hard at his studies, and never lost his determination. In the end, all his hard work paid off. The joy and relief he felt was all consuming and impossible to put into words. His family shared his happiness and expressed how proud of him they were. He, himself, had never felt more proud than at that moment, watching the smiles crossing the faces of the people closest to him.

He hadn’t applied to go to college right after high school, choosing instead to take a break from school and studying. His parents hadn’t been thrilled, wanting him to jump right into getting the knowledge he would need for a respectable job, but they had accepted and supported his decision. But now, at twenty years old, he is finally taking that step. He should have been on this bus two weeks ago, so he could get settled into his dorm and into his new routine before classes started, but he figures it is better late than never.

Jensen lets out a sigh and watches the scenery pass by in a blur, though he isn't really acknowledging it. Instead, he thinks about his family. The last conversation he had with them has been repeatedly playing in his head since he boarded the Greyhound. He is saddened and disappointed, but he is trying his best to put that in his past and look toward his future.


Jensen pushes the green beans around on his plate; his mind is pre-occupied and making him nervous to the point that he feels nauseous. There is a secret he has kept from his family and the burden has become too much to bear. He really hates lying to his family, hiding a large part of himself from their knowledge. He wants them to know the real him, and love him for who he is. Right now, he feels as though they don't truly know him, and, because of this, cannot love him the way he needs them to.

His friends know him inside and out, know all there is to know about him. His family doesn't though, and he can't deny how much that hurts. To hide something so important and significant from the people you care most about in your life, well, it doesn't feel good. He has been wracking his brain for the past few weeks, trying to find the best way to break the news to them. It isn't that he is ashamed, he honestly couldn't feel more confident and content with himself, but he knows it is going to come as a shock to them.

He lifts his head and stares blankly at his mom, realizing she has said something to him, but he's not exactly sure what. She smiles softly, though concern is shining in her eyes, and she asks if he is alright. He nods his head slightly, which isn't convincing, because he is unsure if now is the right time to bring it up.

"You've barely touched your food," his mom says with a frown, "and I can see that something is on your mind."

Jensen breathes in and exhales heavily, hesitantly looking at his family, who are all staring in growing concern. "Well... there's been something I've been meaning to tell you, only... well, I wasn't quite sure how to approach the subject."

"Is everything okay? You're not in some kind of trouble, are you?" his father asks worriedly.

"No, I'm not in trouble. This is more on a personal level, something about me you guys don't know about."

"You can tell us anything, Jensen, you know that," his mother reassures him; not just with her words but with her eyes.

“I know you’ve always wanted me to settle down with a nice girl and start a family of my own, but…,” Jensen stops briefly, but he continues when he realizes there is no way he can put this lightly. Besides, there is no use in beating around the bush. “Well, that’s just not going to happen for me.”

Josh stares at him with guarded eyes as he processes these words. “What are you trying to say Jen?”

Jensen looks at his family shyly and ducks his head before saying, “I’m not going to have that because I’m gay.”

The silence that follows his confession is deafening, and a bad feeling grows within his chest, tightening around his heart to the point of painful. He dares to lift his head and is met with shocked expressions. Josh is looking at him steadily, his face unreadable, and Jensen isn’t sure what to make of it. His mom refuses to even look at him, while the expression on his father’s face is one of undisguised disgust. However, Mackenzie is simply looking at him with a soft expression on her facial features, no disgust or disappointment in sight, and that, at least, gives him a little relief from the panic suffocating him.

He sits there just listening to the quiet breathing of his loved ones around him and feels the panic growing steadily within his chest. He takes the silence for exactly what it is: a bad sign. He can’t help but wonder what is going through their minds. Are they just so shocked they don’t know what to say? Should he just sit patiently and wait for them to speak first - give them time to come to terms with what he has just confessed to them? The tightening in his chest tells him that he doesn’t have the patience, and the silence is eating him alive.

“Could you please say something, say anything?” he pleads softly with an expression on his face to match.

His father keeps a steady eye on him, disgust still evident on his face, as he stands up without so much as a word and stalks out of the kitchen. Jensen follows him with his eyes, frowning sadly, wondering if he has just lost his dad. Josh looks hesitant for a moment, unsure what he should do. After a moment, he says he is going to check on their dad, make sure he is okay, and then he too is leaving the kitchen.

Jensen lets out the sigh he has been holding back and turns to look at his mom, a hopeful expression on his face. He isn’t sure where he stands as far as Josh is concerned, and he has a pretty good feeling that he has lost his dad, but he can’t lose his mom as well. He really needs his family’s support, and, since it would appear that isn’t going to happen, he would at least like to have his mom accept him for who he is.

“I…,” his mom trails off immediately and bites her bottom lip. “I just don’t know what to say to you, Jensen. I… don’t agree with that with that type of lifestyle; I wasn’t raised that way.”

“I’m still the same person you’ve always known, Mom, nothing has changed.” Jensen tries to reason with her, make her see that he is still her son. “Does it really matter who I love? Love is love, no matter what shape or form it is in. So, tell me, how can that be wrong?”

“Two men aren’t supposed to be together, it goes against God. It’s a sin,” his mom protests firmly with a hint of sadness in her tone.

“I can’t help how I feel inside, Mom, it’s a part of me, part of what makes me who I am,” Jensen practically whispers with unshed tears in his eyes, voice sounding broken.

His mom looks stricken as she shifts her stare around the room before her eyes finally land on her son. “I just… I’ve never been so… I can’t help being so very disappointed in you right now, Jen.” She struggles to express how she is feeling. “I just don’t know if I can accept this. I’m sorry.”

Jensen doesn’t say anything as his mom rises and moves to the entryway of the dining room. She turns around and opens her mouth as if she wants to say something, but, in the end, her lips form into a tight line. It hurts him to look into her eyes and see heartbreak shining through, knowing he has really let her down. Jensen lowers his eyes to the table, unable to witness the pain in her stare any longer.

When she finally leaves the room without another glance behind her, Jensen lowers his head into the cradle of his arms and allows his tears to slide down his face. Knowing he has hurt his family simply by being himself, it pains him more than he can express. He loves his family more than life itself, and has always believed they would stick by him no matter what. Now he feels like he has lost everything.

He startles when a hand closes around his forearm and squeezes reassuringly. He lifts his head and sees the sympathy in Mackenzie’s eyes. After everything that just happened, he almost forgot she was still in the room.

“It’s gonna be okay, Jen, just give them time, I’m sure they’ll come around,” she says softly, squeezing his arm again to emphasize her words.

“I dunno, Mack, they’re really upset.” Jensen sighs and looks back down at the table. “I don’t see what’s so wrong about me being gay. It shouldn’t matter who I love. It should only matter that I’m happy, right?”

“There’s nothing wrong with it, and you shouldn’t have to feel ashamed of who you are,” she says firmly, with conviction.

For a moment, Jensen feels stronger as he looks at his sister and says proudly, “I’m not ashamed. I’ve accepted it a long time ago, and I refuse to be ashamed of myself. I see nothing wrong with me… but it still hurts, ya know. I never thought they would turn their backs on me so easily.”

Mackenzie stands up and pulls him into her embrace, hugging him tightly. “You’ll always have me, though. I’m never gonna abandon you.”

“Thanks, Mack,” he whispers into her hair, “I really appreciate your love and support. I dunno what I’d do without you.”

“I know, you’d be lost without me; wouldn’t know what to do with yourself,” she says, mainly to see Jensen laugh and roll his eyes.



Jensen mentally shakes the memory away as a lone tear slides down his face. Reaching up, he wipes the tear away and resumes looking out the window, as the scenery passes before his eyes. A week after telling his family the truth about his sexuality, he packed up his things and left for college, where he is currently headed. He is determined to leave the past behind him and focus on his future.

Things were awkward between him and his parents for the remainder of the week, and a large part of him realizes he may never return home. He did promise to keep in touch with Mackenzie, though. She made him promise to call as soon as he arrived at his dorm room, no matter what time it is. Though he has lost the rest of his family, he is still so relieved to have Mackenzie staying by his side. At least, it helps him to feel like he hasn’t lost everything completely; he still has his sister.

Pushing these thoughts to the furthest recesses of his mind, he thinks about what lies ahead, and a smile grows on his face. He had to leave his old life behind, but, here, in California, he can start a new one.

:0Ж0:


He is jolted into awareness when the bus lurches to a stop, and he realizes that California State is only a couple blocks away. He stumbles off of the bus, the hours of sitting having made his joints kind of stiff. The driver grabs his bags from the luggage compartment and roughly hands them over, barely looking in Jensen’s direction.

Jensen shrugs off the rude attitude, figuring the driver is just tired after so much time on the road, and begins walking down the sidewalk toward the university. He is anxious to arrive and get settled in. He would love to walk around campus and get acquainted with everything, but he really is exhausted after such a long trip, and he wants nothing more than to catch a couple of hours of sleep.

Before long, he is standing in front of the building and looking at everything in awe. It is just as great as he imagined it would be. Sure, it is late and there is no one about, but that doesn’t take away from the initial pleasure of his first experience at the school. Simply put, the place is beautiful. He sees it this way mainly because, when he looks at the building, all he can think about is freedom and a fresh, new start. Already, he is feeling better than he has in the past week.

Looking down at the paper he has taken out of his pocket, he reads the name of his dorm room, and finally heads in that direction. It takes him a while to find the right room without getting himself lost, but eventually he arrives at his destination. Pulling out his room key, he unlocks the room, and, as quietly as possible, enters into the darkness. He simply stands by the door and waits for his eyes to adjust to the dark.

One side of the room is already decorated with another person’s possessions, but the bed is empty. Knowing it is none of his business, and figuring his roommate is staying the night elsewhere, he ignores this new information and turns on the light. Moving straight to his bed, he drops his luggage down onto the floor and flops down onto it, feeling exhaustion creeping up on him.

Forcing himself into a standing position before he can fall asleep, he takes a set of sheets out of a suitcase and gets to work on making his bed. By the time he throws a blanket down, he realizes he is much too tired to do anything else and simply throws his body down onto his bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

:0Ж0:


A low groan escapes his lips when he opens his eyes and, disoriented, he tries to figure out what woke him up. Through blurry vision brought on by sleep, he sees a figure sitting on the bed directly across from him. This person is staring down at a book lying open on his bed and his head is bobbing to the music coming from his stereo; the thing that woke him up.

The volume isn’t up very loud, but Jensen is a light sleeper and just about anything can wake him up. He isn’t familiar with the song that is playing, but he can tell that it is country and it’s something he could see himself listening to.

Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, Jensen takes a moment to look over the person on the bed, whom he presumes to be his roommate. A pair of faded blue jeans hangs low on his hips, revealing a strip of blue boxers, and a No Fear t-shirt hangs loosely from his torso. Jensen watches as the guy brushes a few strands of brown hair out of his eyes, only for them to fall right back into place. Jensen has never thought that shaggy hair looks good on men before, but the whole shaggy look works for this guy.

Tearing his eyes away from his room companion, not wanting to get caught staring, he releases another groan and forces his resisting body into a sitting position. His movement catches the guy’s attention, and, after a moment of just staring at each other, Jensen is blinded by a bright, dimpled smile.

“Sorry, man, the music didn’t wake you, did it? I was trying to be quiet so you could sleep,” the guy says looking apologetic.

“Nah, I’m just a light sleeper. The barest of noises can wake my ass up,” Jensen replies with a chuckle.

The guy smiles in response before rising from his bed and walking the few feet to Jensen‘s bed. Damn, this guy is a giant! Jensen thinks to himself in surprise, staring up at the guy towering over him. I know I’m not exactly tiny, but I have never felt so small before.

“I’m guessing you’re my roommate. I’m Jared, by the way, Jared Padalecki,” the giant - Jared - says with an outstretched hand.

“Jensen.” He takes Jared’s hand in his own, shaking it briefly. “Jensen Ackles.”

“Cool,” Jared says, absentmindedly nodding his head. “So, where ya from?”

“Richardson, Texas,” Jensen replies as Jared sits back down on his bed.

Jared’s eyes light up and the grin on his face widens. “Seriously? I’m from San Antonio. Guess I got lucky, getting a roommate from the same state as me and all.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Jensen replies softly. Great, he’s from Texas, I hope to God my sexual preference isn’t going to be a problem.

Obviously Jared detects a change in his tone because a frown quickly forms on his face and he is looking at Jensen worriedly. “Is there a problem?”

“I hope there won’t be,” Jensen replies softly. “It’s not too late to get another dorm room, is it?”

“I'm not really sure,” Jared replies, his frown deepening. “Why? You thinking ’bout getting another room? Did I do something wrong?”

“No, of course you didn’t do anything wrong,” Jensen quickly reassures him.

“Then, what is it? Obviously something’s wrong. You gonna fill me in, dude?”

“Well, Jared, I’m gay…” Jensen answers without a hint of embarrassment or shame, just a little concern. “That’s not going to be a problem, is it?”

Jared’s eyes widen a fraction, and it takes him a moment to respond. Jensen can tell he is shocked by this confession, but he just can’t tell if Jared is going to be bothered by this or not. Jared doesn’t strike him as homophobic, but he has been wrong before. He likes Jared though, what little he knows of him anyway, and he would like the chance to get to know him a little better. He really doesn’t want his sexuality to be an issue, and that is why he felt it was best to get it out in the open as soon as possible, before it was too late for either of them to find another room.

Jared seems to finally drag himself out of his shocked silence, and a normal expression climbs onto his features. He shakes his head with a friendly smile and waves his hand dismissively.

“It isn’t gonna be a problem; there’s no need for either of us switching rooms. I’m not homophobic or anything, so you have nothing to worry about,” Jared says with that friendly smile, and Jensen lets out a sigh of relief.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply you were or anything, I just didn’t want to have any problems considering that if I waited too long to tell you, and you were freaked by it, it might be too late for us to get other living arrangements,” Jensen explains with a light blush on his cheeks, but smiling nonetheless.

“Nah, we’re cool. Besides, this will be a new experience for me. I’ve never had a gay roommate before.” Jared grins widely. “I’m glad you told me though, took a lot of courage to be upfront with me about it.”

“I’m not afraid to admit my sexuality to anyone; I’m pretty open about it. Besides, if we’re going to be roommates, I’d like you to know the real me, and not have to hide that part of myself from you.”

“That’s good, ‘cause I wouldn’t want you to hide,” Jared replies sincerely. “So, I’m heading out with a few friends to lunch, would you like to tag along and meet them? If we’re gonna be hanging out, you’re gonna have to get used to them being around.”

“Yeah, that sounds nice,” Jensen responds, a little nervous about meeting these people simply because of his shy nature. “Just let me get dressed.”

Jared nods his head briefly and then Jensen is getting out of bed. Grabbing his duffel from the floor, he unzips it and pulls out a pair of blue jeans and a black button down shirt. Jared is once again immersed in the book lying open on his bed, so Jensen silently slips into the bathroom and locks the door behind him.

Stripping out of the clothes he wore yesterday, he quickly changes into the pair he pulled from his duffel and then gets to work on brushing his teeth and hair, which is sticking up all over the place. He can’t help feeling a little embarrassed about that, since Jared has just seen his horrible case of bed head and Jensen had absolutely no clue. Jensen isn’t quite sure why he cares what Jared thinks, considering the fact that he hardly knows the guy, but he has the sneaking suspicion that he just might have a crush on his roommate.

God, that is the last thing I could possibly need! Jensen mentally groans when he thinks about it. Nothing good could possibly come from crushing on my roommate. I have no chance in hell with him, since Jared is obviously straight, the most I could ask for is friendship, so I should just be happy with what I’ve been given.

Pushing these thoughts into the back of his mind, Jensen exits the bathroom and walks over to his bed, sitting down at the end of it. Snatching up his shoes, he places them on his feet and turns to glance at Jared. He is still reading his book, so Jensen grabs his cell from the night stand and flips it open.

He lets out a groan and guilt instantly fills him. “Damn it!” he breathes, and this catches Jared’s attention.

“What’s the problem?” Jared expresses with curiosity.

“I forgot to call my sister when I got here last night. She told me to call her, and I completely forgot,” Jensen explains as he dials his home number.

“I’m sure she’ll forgive ya.” The smile on Jared’s face brings one to Jensen’s.

A gruff voice answers the phone, and Jensen tenses immediately, Jared’s concerned eyes watching him. “Hello?”

“Uh, hey, Dad, is Mack there?” Jensen asks a little shakily.

Jensen is a little disappointed when his dad doesn’t even respond to him, and, at first, he is a little afraid his dad is going to simply hang up on him, but then he can hear his dad’s movements, and he calms down a little. Even over the phone, he can feel the tension rolling off his dad in waves; knowing his dad doesn’t want to talk to him breaks his heart.

A moment later, he can hear the phone being passed into another pair of hands, and then his sister’s voice can be heard over the line.

“Hey, Mack,” Jensen says softly.

“Jensen! You know how late I stayed up waiting for your call? Three in the morning, you jerk! I was practically passing out; I fell asleep with the phone still in my hand.” His sister berates him as soon as she hears his voice.

“I’m sorry, I really am. I just had a really long and exhausting ride, don’t ever take the bus! But, yeah, I crashed as soon as I got here. Sorry about that, I honestly meant to call ya.”

He hears a sigh on the other end of the line and then a soft laugh, a sure sign that he has been forgiven. “It’s okay, Jenny, I understand. I’m just glad you remembered to call me at all; I figured you’d be so caught up in college life that you’d forget all about me,” she says teasingly.

“Don’t call me that! And you should know that’d never happen,” Jensen replies with a smile. “Besides, you’d never let me anyway.”

“Damn straight,” she replies with a soft laugh. “So, ya enjoying yourself, yet, college boy?”

“I haven’t even had the chance to experience college yet, but it’s going good so far. How are things back home?”

“They’re okay,” she answers softly, quietly. “We all miss you here.”

Jensen snorts at this disbelievingly. “I’m serious, Jen. Things might be weird between you guys right now, but that doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They just don’t know how to deal with everything yet. Give them time and they’ll come around.”

“So you keep saying.” Jensen sighs sadly. “Sorry if I have a hard time believing that, just yet… if ever.”

“One day you’ll see that I’m right,” she says with conviction, and Jensen honestly wants to believe her, but is afraid to allow himself to hope.

“Look, I’m getting ready to head out for some lunch, so I’m gonna have to call ya a bit later,” Jensen says, effectively avoiding the rest of this conversation.

“Alright, I guess. You have a good time, and I’ll talk to you later,” Mackenzie replies a little reluctantly. “I miss ya, big bro.”

“Miss ya too Mack, talk to you later,” Jensen says before hanging up the phone.

Jensen turns his head to look at Jared, only to see him still watching him with that curious expression on his face. Jensen knows what question he has burning on his mind, and he really doesn’t want to explain his situation at home to Jared, at least not right now. That wound is still fresh and easy to get salt in. Right now, he wants to ignore the subject of ‘home’, and see what college has in store for him.

“Don’t get along too well with the folks, I take it,” Jared voices his thoughts and Jensen has to catch himself from flinching.

“You could say that,” Jensen says vaguely, hoping Jared will get the hint that this is a sore topic that shouldn’t be broached right now.

Jared nods his head silently before standing up and grabbing his wallet, placing it in his pocket along with his keys. “You ready to go?”

Jensen simply nods his head in response as he grabs his keys and wallet as well. He follows Jared out of their room, locking the door behind them. As they walk down the hall side by side, anticipation and nervous energy fills Jensen’s body. He is still nervous about meeting Jared’s friends, but he is also a bit excited. This is exactly what he wanted, what he had in mind about college. Not just going to the school he wanted and studying the subject of his choice, but also meeting new people and hopefully forming new, strong friendships while he is here.

That was one thing Jensen was a little worried about: not fitting in. He really didn’t want to go through his college years friendless and lonely. He has never really had a problem making friends, despite how shy he tends to be. He has never approached someone about a friendship before, either, though, they usually just sort of happen. However, everything seems to be going smoothly so far, and he hopes they stay that way.

:0Ж0:


Once they reach Del Taco, they step out of Jared’s Mitsubishi Montero, and Jensen follows him into the building. The first thing he sees when he enters is a bunch of people sitting at the far end of the room, all appearing to be around his age, and he guesses these are the friends Jared was talking about.

They are all talking rather loudly and laughing every few minutes. They seem oblivious to everything around them, so immersed in their conversation. Jensen looks over at Jared to see a smile on his face, and that is all the confirmation he needs. Jensen wonders briefly if he is going to get along with Jared’s friends, because they all seem so different from him, but he doesn’t have time to ponder this for they have reached the tables.

A blonde haired guy looks up as soon as Jared’s shadow falls over the table and a smirk forms on his face. “’Bout time you decided to show your giant ass. You’re always the last to meet up with us.”

“Shut up, douche bag,” Jared responds good naturedly. “Just be glad I hang out with you, I’m the only reason you have any friends.”

“Oh, that hurts, Padalecki,” the blonde replies with a roll of his eyes before setting his sights on Jensen. “Ya bring a stray with ya, Jay?”

Jared turns to Jensen and smiles. “Lay off him, jerk, he’s cool,” Jared says before turning back to the people at the table. “Guys, this is my new roommate, Jensen.”

“Nice to meet you, Jensen,” a petite girl says holding out her hand, which Jensen takes into his own. “I’m Alexis.”

“Yeah, nice to meet you, I’m Tom,” a guy that looks to be around Jared’s size says, “and this freak next to me is Mike.” He is referring the guy in the beanie next to him.

“The douche bag is Chad,” Jared informs Jensen with a laugh. “He can be a bit much at times, but you’ll get used to him.”

“Shut up, jar head, I kick ass! I’m the coolest person at this table!” the blonde, Chad, responds with a scowl; everyone rolls their eyes. “Wassup, Jen, take a seat.”

Jensen flushes shyly and takes a seat next to one of the guys. He doesn’t appear to be all that friendly, Jensen observes with a slight frown. The guy, however, turns to him with a smile and holds out his hand. Jensen feels bad for having judged the guy too quickly, based upon his looks alone. He hates being judgmental in any way, shape or form.

“I’m Christian, but you can call me Chris, everyone else does,” he says with a friendly tone, and Jensen immediately feels comfortable with him. “This guy next to me is Steve,” he motions to a guy with shoulder length blonde hair.

Another girl with dark hair quickly reaches across the table and grabs a hold of his hand, startling Jensen. “Hey cutie, I’m Sophia,” she introduces herself with a wink, and Jensen can’t help but smile at her. “Just ignore these lame ass guys around you, two of them aren’t even worth knowing.” As she says this, she gets matching glares from Chad and Mike.

Sophia’s a pretty girl, even he can’t deny that. She would be the type of girl he wouldn’t mind dating; if he were into girls, that is. He likes her personality, though, and he can tell already that he is going to like spending time with her.

“You’re dating this lame ass guy,” Chad says with a scowl.

Sophia responds with, “I know, and I don’t know why.”

Jensen can’t help the light laugh that leaves his lips, and this earns him a glare from Chad and a flirty smile from Sophia. He doesn’t know why, but from their reactions, he thinks he has silently been accepted into their group.

“So, Jensen, what’s your major?” Tom asks for conversation’s sake.

“I’m taking courses in Human Relations,” Jensen responds proudly.

“Ah, that’s cool. What made you decide to go that route?”

Jensen shrugs his shoulders, and then, after a moment, he finally answers, “I want to help people. Make a difference.”

“Aww, how sweet,” Chad says, making a gagging face, and Jensen just smiles. “So, Jenny boy,” Chad changes the subject, making Jensen scowl at the nickname, “have you seen all these fine lookin’ women on campus? Gonna snag one for yourself?”

Jensen frowns at the question and wonders how he is going to answer. He isn’t going to hide his sexuality. He refuses to do so, after what happened back at home, but he isn’t quite sure how to tell them. He is a little wary of how they will take the news. He has just now started being friends with them, and he doesn’t want to lose that.

“My man, Jen, here, is gay. Do any of you have a problem with that?” Jared asks with narrowed eyes, and Jensen sends him a grateful look.

They are all silent for a moment, matching expressions of shock and surprise on their faces, and then they all quickly reassure him that it is fine; they don’t care if he licks pussy or takes it up the ass. Kinda crude, but at least they’re accepting me, Jensen thinks in slight amusement.

“You let us know if anybody gives you shit, we’ll beat the fuck out of ‘em for ya,” Chad says seriously, and Chris nods his head in agreement.

“You’re our friend now, and no one fucks with one of our own,” Chris says with a playful wink, making Jensen blush a deep crimson.

He turns to look at Jared, and freezes when he sees the look on his face. He is looking at Alexis, unbeknownst to her, with unabashed adoration. He knows what a crush looks like when he sees it, and it is written all over Jared’s face, unless he is already dating Alexis.

Jensen forces himself to tear his eyes away and stares down at his hands like there is nothing he finds more fascinating. He should have known someone like Jared wouldn’t be remotely interested in someone like him. Things like that just don’t happen for him. Guys that he likes either don’t like him in return, or are straight as a fucking pole.

It’s probably better this way, anyway. I really like Jared, and a relationship could kill our friendship in an instant. Besides, I could already tell that he was straight, it shouldn’t come as such a surprise, and I shouldn’t feel so disappointed, Jensen reminds himself, trying to make himself believe this. But, yet… it still really fuckin’ sucks!


Next
 
 
Mood: calmcalm
Music: Dope
 
 
 
maryjo24maryjo24 on December 19th, 2013 06:12 am (UTC)
So happy to see you posting on this again - looking forward to seeing the conclusion of this wonderful story!
FadedSparksfadedsparks on December 20th, 2013 08:11 pm (UTC)
Thank you, I'm glad to hear that. I'll have more posted soon! :)
Dev: Chibi J2 Kissnice_demon on January 22nd, 2014 03:36 pm (UTC)
Ohhhh new story Yay!
I wanna hug Jensen now...well in my dreams:)
Jared is so sweet! me like!
FadedSparksfadedsparks on January 22nd, 2014 07:36 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you like the first chapter. :)