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08 February 2014 @ 08:07 pm
Hands of Fate: Chapter Fourteen  
Title: Caught in the Hands of Fate
Author: fadedsparks
Beta: lunadragonx
Art: trueshellz
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rated: R, with NC-17 in later chapters
Genre: AU, Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: This isn't meant to offend anyone and I am making no profit from it.
Warnings: Violence and Homophobia. Also, Jensen and Jared are the same age in this story.
Summary: Jensen has had his share of ups and downs, but he pushes forward and tries not to take life for granted. Starting college in California seems like the right choice for him, and everything is going better than he imagined it would. However, fate can be a tricky thing sometimes.

Chapter Fourteen:
Someone to Hold

December 12th, 2000

Jensen sits on the barstool, Sophia at his side, nursing a perspiring bottle of MGD. He finds that this is just what he needed after a long week of seemingly endless hours of work and scheduled classes. Doesn’t hurt that he is in good company either; it has been a while since he has been able to spend any time with the brunette bombshell and he has come to realize just how much he’s missed her.

He had been more than happy when she called him on his cell, asking if he wanted to meet up with her at the Roadside Bar for a drink, and he had jumped at the chance to spend some quality time with his friend.

Just thinking about how he has been distanced from his friends lately makes him think that maybe he has been working too hard, been too engrossed with the distraction that working provides that he has involuntarily pushed aside the people closest to him. He can’t help feeling like a total jerk when he thinks about it and silently decides to put aside some time for his friends. He can’t afford to lose them, desperately doesn’t want to lose their friendship, and is willing to do whatever it takes to ensure that doesn’t happen.

He hasn’t been doing it on purpose. In fact, he hadn’t even realized he was distancing himself. There have just been so many different things on his mind lately and it has been all he can focus on. Besides the normal, work and classes, his thoughts have been centered on his dating status and the words Jack said to him that night at Malone’s.

He still hasn’t given Justin a call, like he expected he wouldn’t. Doesn’t mean he hasn’t thought about it, though. He figures it is kind of too late for that call anyway, if he were even considering calling the man. Which, he isn’t. Besides, is two weeks too long to wait? Jensen isn’t sure, but he thinks so. He knows if their positions were reversed he would have given up on getting any call from him, would have moved on.

Besides, he knows for absolute certainty that he is still very much in love with Jared. The shaggy haired man is so far beneath his skin and Jensen hasn’t been able to find a way to get him out. He really wishes he could move on too, because he has grown tired of holding on like this. He wants to let Jared go, doesn’t want to wait around for him anymore. He wants more than anything to move on with his life, move on from Jared and start dating again.

Jared has told him many times that he needs to let him go, so why the hell can’t he seem to do that? Why can’t he just realize that what they had is over and let it go? His mind is telling him that it is time to move on, that there are many available guys out there that could love him, but his heart is fighting it with all its strength. His heart is still holding on tightly to Jared, with a grip too tight for even Jensen to release.

It’s not that Jensen doesn’t want to find someone - he doesn’t want to be alone, and holding onto Jared is just exhausting - but he just can’t seem to get this through to his stubborn heart. He knows very well that he had the opportunity to move on with his life; Justin made it obvious that he was interested, but Jensen managed to screw up that possibility. It was never the right time and now he thinks it just might be too late.

Jensen is tired of denying it, he was very much interested in Justin, still is if he’s honest with himself. He was a dumb ass though, and didn’t jump on the opportunity when it presented itself. He isn’t sure he would have gone through with it had he given Justin a call, but now he will never know for sure. Maybe Jack was right, maybe I am scared. Justin wasn’t afraid to show his interest in me, decided to take the chance, but… I’m afraid of being hurt again.

“So, tell me, where you been hiding yourself these days?” Sophia asks, slanting her head in his general direction and quirking one of her eyebrows. “We were beginning to think you’d forgotten about us. The guys aren’t going to believe me when I tell them I got you to come out of your hole long enough to spend some time with me.”

“That’s true, we wouldn’t have, if we hadn’t seen it with our own eyes,” a voice says before Jensen has a chance to respond.

He glances behind him to find Mike, Chris, Tom, and Jared standing there. He flushes at the open curiosity on their faces, a hint of hurt in their expressions, and smiles guiltily at them. Before he can apologize and explain his absence, Sophia suggests they find a table so they can have more privacy and Jensen couldn’t agree more. Tom leads their little group over to a table in a shadowed corner and they all take their seats, Jensen between Sophia and Mike.

Jensen relishes being in the company of his friends again. Even with the slightly awkward tension hanging in the air, it feels really good to be spending time with these guys once again. It has been too long since they just went out for a drink, or even just got together for lunch. Hmm, that’s an idea I’m gonna have to bring up to them, he decides with a slight smile on his face.

“So, you gonna answer my question, Jen?” Sophia asks once they have settled at their table. “What have you been doing lately? Seems like forever since the last time we all hung out.”

“I’ve just been busy with work and my classes. Some days I have time for little else. Plus, well, I’ve had some things on my mind lately that I may have put too much focus into, or I’ve been doing everything I can to keep myself distracted from them, I guess, is what I should say,” Jensen explains with a sheepish yet apologetic smile. “I wasn’t trying to ignore you guys or anything, so I hope you don’t think that.”

“We were beginning to wonder, but it’s fine. I can understand what it’s like to be busy, or to have thoughts ruling my actions. We’re just glad you’re doing okay and haven’t completely forgotten about us,” Tom says with that friendly smile of his. Though Jensen has never deliberately tried, he knows for a fact that it is nearly impossible to anger the man; for the most part he just lets things slide off his back.

“Wait a minute, are you sure you’ve had things on your mind?” Sophia asks with a slight upturn to her lips, eyes gleaming with mischief and poorly concealed joy, “Or is it more likely someone has been on your mind?”

Jensen blushes, which is more than a dead giveaway to Sophia. “Yeah, I may have had someone on my mind lately.”

Jared is watching him with pity and remorse in his eyes, obviously assuming he is the one Jensen can’t get off his mind. Could you be more self-centered? Jensen silently asks him, feeling a little bitter.

“Is it written on my face or something? Is that how you could tell so easily?” Jensen asks, forcing himself not to look at Jared, who has lowered his head seemingly unable to meet Jensen‘s eyes.

“I’m not going to give my secrets away, not even to you, Jen,” she replies with a wink. “Now, do tell, who is this mystery man?”

“He’s just some guy I met at work, a customer,” Jensen answers, smiling shyly.

Jared’s head snaps up the moment these words register in his mind and he stares at Jensen in shock. There is also another emotion shining in his eyes but his expression becomes neutrally blank before Jensen can decipher what it was. He decides not to worry himself with this, not really that interested in what Jared is thinking right now. After all, Jared is the one who broke up with him, the one telling him to move on. So honestly, he should be happy that Jensen just may be doing that finally.

Sophia eyes light up even more, which Jensen hadn’t even known was actually possible. She is full on beaming at him, mischief in her eyes telling him that she won’t let him leave without telling her all the sordid details. She knows how hard the breakup was on him, saw him retreat into himself, and Jensen knows she felt helpless at the time.

On the odd occasion that he had sat down and spoke to her about how he was coping she told him that it killed her to see him so hurt, but that she felt like she was stuck in the middle because they were both her friends. She didn’t want to be put into any position where she had to take sides, though that didn’t mean she didn’t empathize with what Jensen was going through, and she even admitted that she had a difficult time not blaming Jared for all he did. Jensen’s depressed mood was really hard on her, and she had said she wanted to see him happy again.

“So, tell me about him. What’s he look like, what’s his personality like? Did he make any kind of indication that he was interested in you?” She rattles off question after question and Jensen tries his best to keep up, smiling slightly in amusement.

Jensen pulls the card out of his wallet, still unable to make himself throw it away, and lays it down on the table. Sophia slides it over to her immediately and sweeps her eyes over it. “I’d say that’s enough indication that he’s interested,” Jensen says somewhat bashfully, talking about guys has always embarrassed him and right now it is a little awkward with Jared sitting across from him.

“He left you his number,” Sophia whistles softly, smiling in obvious delight. “Justin Chambers.” She rolls the name around on her tongue and then nods her head in approval as though the guy’s name tells her all she needs to know.

“When’d you meet him?” Tom asks, smiling softly himself.

Jensen blushes in embarrassment, instantly knowing what kind of reaction his words will get him. “He came into the café two weeks ago.”

The occupants of the table all widen their eyes, with the exception of Jared of course, and they all gape at him in surprise. Jensen just shrugs in a weak defense and has to resist the urge to hide his face from his friends.

“You’ve had his number for that long and you still haven’t called him?” Sophia asks, shaking her head as though she’s disappointed. “I’m right, aren’t I? You haven’t called him, have you?”

Jensen lowers his head, feeling like a loser. “No, I haven’t called him,” he admits, the words muttered under his breath.

“It’s obvious you like the guy, so why the hell haven’t you called him up yet?” Mike finally speaks, and Jensen is surprised he stayed quiet for this long, usually he can’t wait to give someone his input.

“What’s the guy like, Jen?” Chris asks, ignoring the fact that Mike just asked a question.

Jensen stays quiet for a moment, thinking back on the light hearted, easygoing man he met at the café. “He’s… he made me laugh, has a great sense of humor. He’s clean cut, dresses nice with not too much facial hair. I found talking to him to be near effortless, which was surprising ‘cause I’ve hardly ever clicked with someone so quickly. We only talked for a short time but he seems intelligent with a playful side. He seemed to enjoy teasing me.” Jensen recalls all that he can about Justin with a slight smile lifting his lips, eyes somewhat distant and glazed.

Jensen draws himself out of the daze he found himself in and finds Sophia watching him with a bright, wide smile on her face. “How old is he?” she asks with obvious interest in her voice.

“I don’t know for sure, I hadn’t thought to ask him. But if I were to give a round about estimate, I’d say he looked to be in his mid thirties. That‘s just a rough guess though, these days it‘s hard to tell someone‘s age just by looking at them.”

Sophia’s eyes are glinting with mirth and mischief when she says, “Well, Jen, you just may have gotten yourself an older man, yay for you!”

“I’m not even into guys, but it sounds to me like this one is a keeper. So, tell me, why the hell haven’t you called him already?” Mike asks, raising an eyebrow incredulously.

Jensen sighs and gives his friends a tired look. “It’s complicated, guys, just let it go.”

“You do like him, don’t ya?” Chris asks. “Ignore whatever it is in your head that’s telling you this isn’t a good idea and just give the guy a call already. What could it hurt?”

“Come on, give him a break. If he says it’s complicated then you should leave it alone. If he wants to call this Justin guy, then he will, but don’t pressure him into it.” Jared finally speaks, voice sounding strange, clipped with a hint of an emotion Jensen doesn’t want to name.

Sophia glares at Jared, obviously catching onto that emotion Jensen refuses to delve deeper into. Jared shuts up immediately, lowering his head and sulking like a scolded five year old. She then turns her attention to Jensen, soft expression on her face and in her eyes as she reaches out and places her hand on his forearm.

“Look, I can’t tell you what to do, but I can give you some advice. It sounds like you are really interested in this guy, just a little afraid perhaps. I can understand that, I really can. But Jensen, you can’t let that hold you back. If you like this guy, then I say you should go for it, put yourself out there,” Sophia looks straight into his eyes as she says this, forcing him to listen. “You don’t want to look back, maybe months from now, and regret not at least giving the man a call. I mean, what have you got to lose? He sounds like a nice guy, possibly someone you could just have fun with. Don’t let the opportunity pass you by, Jen, you owe it to yourself to go for this, and you deserve to have a little fun.”

“It’s been two weeks though,” Jensen protests, voice and expression miserable. “You don’t think I’ve waited too long already? Has the opportunity already passed me by?”

“I would say yes if it had been a month, but it’s only been two weeks. I think you still have a chance,” she says reassuringly, trying her hardest to convince him. “I’m sure the guy hasn’t forgotten about you, it has only been two weeks, after all.”

“Go give him a call, Jen, before you lose the nerve,” Chris tells him, giving him that expression that says Jensen better do as he says or he will kick his ass.

“What? Now?” Jensen asks, eyes widening and panic filling his body

“Yeah, why not? Better do it now while you have the nerve. We know you, Jen, you’ll find some reason to back out,” Mike says, smiling in amusement.

“And we’re not gonna let you do that,” Sophia says determinedly.

Jensen glances across the table at Jared, who is watching him with a blank expression on his face. Jared sighs audibly and turns his head away, unwilling to meet Jensen’s eyes anymore. Jensen contemplates his friends’ words, contemplates calling Justin or dismissing the idea. He figures his friends might be right. What’s the harm in a phone call, right? He might just drive himself insane if he doesn’t call, because until he does that seemingly innocent card will just sit in his wallet when he should throw it away.

Decision made, Jensen rises from his seat and takes the card from Sophia’s slack fingers. His friends watch him with poorly concealed hope and he tells them he will make the call. They all whoop in triumph, happy for him, minus Jared. He tells them he is going outside for some privacy and then he is heading out of the bar.

The cool night air hits him the moment he steps outside and he shivers slightly from the drop in temperature. Inside the bar it was stifling because of the amount of people crowded in one place, but outside it is chilly and a soft breeze caresses his exposed skin. Stepping away from the entrance, he moves to the far end of the building and leans against the wall.

Taking his cell out of his pocket, he glances at the card in his left hand as he punches in the numbers. Breathing in deeply, Jensen lifts the phone to his ear and tries to will his heart to calm down. The moment a voice on the other end of the line speaks Jensen’s brain short circuits and he has no idea what to say.

“Uh, Justin?” Jensen asks dumbly, rolling his eyes and inwardly cursing his conversational skills.

“Yeah, who is this?” Justin sounds confused and a bit suspicious.

“Hey, um… this is Jensen… we met at the Paradise Café,” Jensen explains, feeling stupid and wondering if the man even remembers him. He wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t, they only met that once and Jensen took his sweet ass time giving him a call.

“Oh, yeah, I remember you. I was beginning to think you’d never call.” The voice on the other end of the line is smooth, a soft laugh breathing over the receiver. “I was starting to think I’d gotten the wrong impression the day we met.”

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that, it was… complicated,” Jensen closes his eyes as he says this, feeling stupider by the minute and hoping his reluctance to call doesn’t make Justin back off. “I’ve finally called, though, hopefully that counts for something.”

“It definitely counts, don’t worry. I’m just glad you got up the nerve to call, doesn’t matter to me how long it took.” These words calm Jensen’s nerves somewhat and he finds himself relaxing gradually. “So, what do you say about having dinner with me? Would you be interested?”

A rush of excitement courses through Jensen but he does his best to answer casually. “Yeah, that would be really nice, I’d enjoy having dinner with you.”

“Great, how does Friday night sound? I could pick you up in front of the college at 7:30.”

“Sounds good to me,” Jensen replies with a smile in his voice. “So, I guess I’ll see you on Friday then.”

“You can count on it. Thanks for calling Jensen, I’m really glad you did.”

“I’m glad I did too,” Jensen admits shyly before telling Justin goodbye and ending the call.

Jensen finally allows the excitement he was trying to conceal to be shown and a smile breaks out on his face. Now that he has stopped fighting the attraction, stopped finding reasons why he shouldn’t go on a date with Justin, he realizes that this is something he really wants. He still isn’t sure if he is ready for another relationship so soon, but the idea of going on a date thrills him and gives him hope that maybe, just maybe he will be ready to give another relationship a try sooner than he thinks.

Pocketing his cell phone once more, Jensen heads back into the bar and stops by the bartender to order another beer before joining his friends again. Sophia looks at him expectantly the moment she catches sight of him, along with Chris and Mike. Reclaiming his seat, Jensen takes a swig of his beer and opts to keep his mouth shut, curious to see who will lose their patience first.

It only takes a few minutes for one of his friends to break, just like he expected, but what he hadn’t been expecting was who broke first. “So?” Jared asks with a hint of impatience in his tone, eyes intense and unyielding as they practically challenge Jensen to look away.

Jensen eyes him warily, not sure he should answer Jared’s question or not, and more than a little disconcerted over the fact that Jared asked him that question. It would have made more sense coming from Sophia, and Jensen would be a whole lot more comfortable had the question to come from her. He feels a little left of center and can’t help wondering why Jared even cares to hear the answer. From the looks their friends are giving Jared, Jensen can tell they are thinking the same thing.

“How’d the conversation go, was he happy to hear from you?” Chris asks, sending a look full of warning at Jared before smiling softly at Jensen.

“I have a dinner date on Friday,” Jensen confesses with a growing smile and watches as a pleased expression makes its way onto Sophia’s face.

“See, I knew you could do it, and I’ll bet you’ll have a wonderful time too. You really deserve this, Jen, I hope you realize that. You owe it to yourself to get out of that dorm room and have some fun for once.” Sophia, unable to control herself, pulls Jensen into a hug and squeals in his ear. He flinches at the high pitched sound right in his ear but he doesn’t move away. “Of course that means you’re gonna have to give me all the details afterwards!”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re the first person I go to.” Jensen grins playfully as he says this. He’s being serious, he will go straight to her with any details, but she’ll probably be the only one. He isn’t the type to gush and gossip about things like this usually, but it is nice to have one person to talk to about such topics.


December 16th, 2000

“So, where is it you’re going?” Will asks from his bed, lying on his side with a magazine open beside him.

Jensen doesn’t even look over his shoulder as he scours his closet for something to wear. “I have a date tonight,” he says simply, pulling out a forest green button down, looking at it with scrutiny for a moment before putting it back.

“Oh, okay, that explains it then,” Will replies, voice laced with amusement and a hint of laughter.

Jensen frowns at this response and turns to face his roommate. “What do you mean by that?”

“You’ve had this giddy yet nervous expression on your face all day, you’re tearing your closet apart right now looking like you want to burn it down, you’ve been running around here like a chicken with its head chopped off, and there’s this gleam in your eyes. It’s pretty obvious that you have a date now that you’ve pointed it out to me.”

Jensen considers this for a moment before nodding his head in resignation; he is acting very much like a girl right now. “Yeah, I guess I am pretty pathetic, acting like a fuckin’ woman and all.” Jensen sighs and gives his clothes a long, suffering look.

“Not pathetic at all, even straight guys get nervous before a date Jensen, it’s completely normal,” Will reassures him as he moves to sit up, watching Jensen closely. “We’re pretty close in size. Do you need help figuring out what to wear? You could borrow something of mine if you’d like.”

Jensen isn’t all that close with his roommate, Will is barely around as it is, and they haven’t had much time to form any type of bond. They get along, no doubt about that, but they don’t know each other all that well. He’s not all that sure he wants him to help with finding something to wear for a date. Not that he thinks his roommate will find something hideous for him to wear, but the truth is that they don’t know one another well enough to start picking out clothes for each other; neither knows what kind of style the other one likes.

“No, that’s okay, I’m sure I’ll find something just fine on my own. Thanks for the offer though.” Jensen politely refuses, though an edge of wariness slips into his tone before he can stop it.

“Dude, I may not be gay, but I do know how to dress,” Will sounds slightly offended as he says this and Jensen wants to take back his words but his roommate continues talking before he can even open his mouth. “Just, let me have a look in my closet and see if there’s anything I can find. If you don’t like my suggestion you can go back to destroying your closet, but at least give me a chance.”

Figuring he has nothing to lose and quite possibly something to gain, Jensen nods his head in assent and takes a seat on his bed. Will seems satisfied as he bounds up from his bed and opens his closet, pushing hanger upon hanger aside as he glances at each article of clothing. Jensen explains the type of date he is going on when Will asks and a moment later his roommate pulls out a shirt and flings it at Jensen. He holds it up to inspect it only to find another shirt flying in his direction a second later.

The first shirt thrown at him is a grey button down while the next is long sleeved and plain white. Instantly thinking that his favorite pair of dark blue jeans will go nicely with the shirts, he rises from his bed once more and pulls said jeans from his closet. Will stands behind him, looking somewhat smug, and raises an eyebrow in silent question.

“Yes, these will work nicely, thanks for your help,” Jensen tells his roommate, knowing he will want to hear these words, though he isn’t sure the other man needs any more of an ego boost. The guy’s got a big head as it is, from what Jensen learned early on.

Will nods his head with a smirk, indicating that he already knew this, and then lies back down on his bed, paying Jensen no attention. Jensen just shakes his head, amused, and heads into the bathroom to change. He comes back out a moment later, changed and smelling of cologne, and sits down on his bed as he places his favorite black leather boots on his feet.

Checking one last time to make sure he isn’t forgetting anything, he places his wallet in his back pocket and tells Will he’ll see him later as he rushes out of the room. The walk to the front of the college is taken in strides and Jensen finds himself in the parking lot a moment later. Justin hasn’t arrived yet, not that Jensen expected him to, so he leans against a nearby tree and keeps his eyes on the parking lot entrance.

Ten minutes goes by, possibly more, before a Honda Civic pulls up along the curb where Jensen stands. Justin gives him a friendly smile when he bends down to look through the passenger seat window and motions for him to get in. Jensen smiles his own greeting, opening the door and sliding into the car.

“You look real nice tonight. I like that gray on you, it really brings attention to those incredible eyes of yours.”

Jensen blushes bashfully and whispers “Thanks,” as Justin puts the car in drive and pulls out of the parking lot. “You look pretty damn good yourself.”

“Thanks,” Justin flashes him a smile, all teeth and warmth like the last time he smiled at him. “So, I kind of made dinner at my place, I hope you don’t mind. If you don’t want to come to my house though, if it’ll make you feel uncomfortable, we can always find a restaurant.”

Jensen takes a moment to contemplate this. Does he really want to go to Justin’s house on their first date? After all, he hardly even knows the guy. But then again, he did make dinner for him. How much more romantic could he ask for than that? There is no way he could refuse and tell Justin to find them a restaurant. Well, he could, he’s sure Justin wouldn’t be offended, but the point is that Jensen doesn’t want to. He actually wants to have dinner at Justin’s; he is really flattered by the fact that the guy made dinner for him and a restaurant just could not compare to that.

“No, I don’t mind going to your house for dinner. I’d actually prefer it, even,” Jensen admits with a grin. “I find myself intrigued.”

“By what?” Justin asks, part curiosity and part confusion, glancing at Jensen for a second before returning his eyes to the road.

“Well, you had the gall to doubt my sandwich making skills, so I’m intrigued to find out if you’re a good cook or not,” Jensen replies, playful smile fixed firmly on his face as Justin laughs.

“Well, you’ll find out soon enough.” Justin replies with a wink and then a comfortable silence befalls the two men.


Before long they pull into the driveway of a cream and light brown colored two story house. Jensen follows Justin inside, standing awkwardly by the door as his date takes off his jacket, hangs it up on the coat wrack, and then proceeds to head into the kitchen. Jensen isn’t quite sure what he should do, feeling a little out of place in such a nice house and not all together comfortable since he has never been here before, so he just stands by the door, feeling like an idiot.

The place is almost meticulously clean and organized, not cluttered in the slightest bit, yet has a sense of homeliness to it that Jensen finds surprising. Despite the cozy atmosphere of Justin’s home, Jensen can’t seem to relax. Maybe it’s just his nerves messing with him, this being the first date he has been on since Jared. Doesn’t really matter what it is in the end, Jensen just wishes the awkwardness would dissipate.

Jensen isn’t sure how long he stands there when, from the kitchen, Justin suddenly sticks his head around the corner, watching him with amusement dancing in his eyes. He beckons him into the kitchen with a crook of his finger before disappearing once more behind the corner. Jensen silently makes his way into the kitchen and stops in the entryway, eyes sweeping over the room.

A red and white checkered tablecloth has been thrown over a round table, a single blood red rose set in the middle. A small stereo sits on the china cabinet, soft Latin music emanating from the speakers to set the mood just right. Justin stands by one of the chairs, pulling it out and motioning for Jensen to sit down. Hesitating for but a moment, Jensen takes a seat at the table and watches as Justin moves over to one of the counters.

He places a plate and a saucer in front of Jensen before repeating this action on the opposite side of the table. He then takes a seat himself, smiling softly at Jensen, almost shyly, which just seems uncharacteristic for a guy like Justin. Of course, Jensen can’t help finding it endearing.

“I hope you like pasta,” Justin breaks the silence, looking nervous for the first time and Jensen is just grateful that he isn’t the only one feeling that way.

Glancing down at the food, he finds a plate full of spaghetti marinara and some garlic bread on the saucer. The dinner Justin has prepared looks delicious and reminds Jensen of the meals served at fancy restaurants. Stabbing his fork into the pasta, Jensen’s eyes widen as delectable flavor slides over his tongue. The food is as delightful as it appears and Jensen quickly tells Justin as much.

Justin smiles at the praise, giving a soft thank you as he fills two glasses with some vintage wine. Jensen watches him with something akin to awe. No one has ever made a dinner with such wonderful food just for him before and he can’t help feeling a little overwhelmed. Justin hands him one of the glasses, eyes filled with warmth as they lock with Jensen’s.

“So, you know where I work, what do you do for a living?” Jensen asks, grasping at the first topic he can think of to start a conversation.

Justin smiles, full of mischief and humor. “I’m a chef at Stefano’s.”

Jensen laughs softly, smile more like a grin, and nods his head. “That actually makes a lot of sense. I mean, your cooking skills are amazing so it shouldn’t surprise me that you do it for a living.”

“Yeah, I really enjoyed cooking when I was younger, always eager to learn how to fix new recipes. I learned pretty early in my life what I wanted to do for a living, held fast to that dream and went to college for culinary arts. Now, here I am, doing what I love and I have a pretty good life, if I do say so myself.”

Jensen can’t help but smile as Justin regales him with his tale; he can tell how much he loves cooking just by the way he talks about it and from the look he gets in his eyes. “That’s great, I’m happy for you. I’d like to have that one day, only, you know, with my dream.”

“What are you going to college for?” Justin asks, appearing to be genuinely interested.

“Human Relations,” Jensen replies with a proud smile. “I want to make a difference.”

“I have no doubt that you will, you have the passion for it, I can tell. With that kind of passion, you can make things happen,” Justin replies and Jensen draws reassurance from his words. “So, how old are you, exactly?”

“I’ll be twenty-two in March, what about you?” Jensen questions as Justin takes their plates and puts them in the sink. He hadn’t even realized he had eaten so fast, usually he is a slow eater. It was good food, he tells himself.

“Damn, I feel old when compared to you,” Justin laughs as he returns to the table, standing beside it. “I’m thirty-five, fourteen years older than you.”

“That’s not too big of a difference. Besides, you’re looking good for your age,” Jensen says, blushing even as the words tumble past his lips.

Justin’s lips quirk up into a smile as he holds out a hand for Jensen to take, which he does almost right away. “I’m glad you think so,” Justin practically purrs as he helps Jensen to his feet. “Would you like to watch a movie in the living room?”

Jensen merely nods, unsure he would be able to speak even if he wanted to, and follows the older man out of the kitchen. They both decide on a comedy, which Justin pops in almost immediately, and then they take a seat on the beige couch placed in direct line of the television. Jensen gets comfortable next to Justin, aware of the man’s body heat, and finds butterflies fluttering around in his stomach.


“I had a really great time tonight, I hope you enjoyed my company as much as I enjoyed yours,” Justin says, soft smile on his face as he walks Jensen to the door.

Jensen turns to face the older man, nodding his head in answer. “I had a wonderful time, I’m glad we finally did this.”

Justin is silent for a moment, appearing to be contemplating something, and then he locks unsure eyes with Jensen’s curious green ones. “Jensen…”

“Yeah,” Jensen prods, raising an eyebrow while the right corner of his lips rise slightly.

“Can I kiss you?” Justin breathes, eyes intense and lips suddenly so near.

Without words, Jensen answers by grasping the back of Justin’s neck and pulling him in until their lips meet. Feeling a slick tongue running the length of his bottom lip, Jensen opens his mouth and welcomes the older man inside. Tongues meet seconds later, tangling and sliding wetly along one another, running over palate and teeth. Jensen, emboldened, draws Justin’s lower lip into his mouth and nibbles on it gently, drawing a quiet moan from the gorgeous man.

Justin pulls away abruptly when the kiss becomes impassioned and holds potential for more. He looks regretful when he locks eyes with Jensen, but Jensen can also tell he is trying to do the right thing by stopping this before it can go any further. This small action makes him respect the older man more than he already does because most guys would have just gone with the flow and said screw the consequences.

“Do you want me to take you home?” Justin asks, looking as though this is the last thing he wants to do but is willing to do it all the same if that is what Jensen wants.

Surprisingly enough, Jensen can’t say that is what he wants, which just about shocks the hell out of him. Vaguely feeling as though he is making a mistake, but ignoring his internal warning, Jensen replies, “No, I don’t want you to take me home right now.”

Justin grins brightly, nodding his head, and taking a hold of Jensen’s hand. The look on his face and in his eyes is sultry as he leads Jensen upstairs and straight to the bedroom.

Mood: sicksick
Music: David Hodges