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23 April 2014 @ 12:18 pm
Hands of Fate: Chapter Thirty  
Title: Caught in the Hands of Fate
Author: fadedsparks
Beta: lunadragonx
Art: trueshellz
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Rated: R, with NC-17 in later chapters
Genre: AU, Angst, Romance
Disclaimer: This isn't meant to offend anyone and I am making no profit from it.
Warnings: Violence and Homophobia. Also, Jensen and Jared are the same age in this story.
Summary: Jensen has had his share of ups and downs, but he pushes forward and tries not to take life for granted. Starting college in California seems like the right choice for him, and everything is going better than he imagined it would. However, fate can be a tricky thing sometimes.

Chapter Thirty:
A Slow Progress

“Your boy seriously needs to get his own vehicle,” Chad grouses as he makes his way out of the backroom to where Jensen is standing behind the front counter. This particular complaint isn’t anything new; Jensen has heard it more times than he can count on both hands.

“He has his own vehicle, but it needs a new transmission, you know that,” he replies in an exasperated tone that goes unnoticed, or just ignored, by his friend.

“I get that, but when is he going to save up the money to get a new one? I don’t mind helping him out, but I got that truck so I could use it, not him.” Chad rolls his eyes, mumbling some more under his breath, but Jensen can tell it’s just a token argument. He might be a little annoyed right now, but he wouldn’t give Jared a hard time about it.

“Give him some time, I’m sure he is setting aside the money, it’s just not going to happen overnight.”

Chad releases a heavy sigh but just nods his head in agreement and thankfully, the subject is dropped for now. Silence befalls the two as their workload picks up, the afternoon rush sneaking up on them before they knew it. A few of their friends drop in to visit but leave within a couple of minutes when they see how busy they are. Or I should say I’m busy, Jensen thinks sourly as he glances over at Chad, who is taking his sweet ass time making an order of lattes.

He lets the irritation go just as quickly as it surfaced, and deals with the next few customers with a smile and a friendly attitude. He has only been working here for a couple of days, and when he first started, he had his doubts. He wasn’t sure working with Chad was something he wanted to do, mostly because he knows Chad slacks off and leaves most of the work to the other employees. However, he’s come to realize Chad isn’t that bad to work with, and he’s doesn’t slack off as much as he’s led everyone to believe.

Not to mention, working with his friend is actually kind of nice. He’s never had a strong relationship with Chad to begin with, but over the last few days he’s spent more time in Chad’s company, and he’s come to see that his blonde friend isn’t as much of a douche as he leads people to believe. Jensen managed to hold a few decent conversations with the guy, enough for him to think he’s kind of decent… even though he can be kind of a douchebag at times.

“How’s everything going with you anyway?” Chad speaks up once their latest customer is served and they are left alone for the moment. “And no bullshit answer either, how are you really adjusting?”

Jensen raises an eyebrow, a quirk of a smile on his face as he shakes his head. “I’m doing about as well as expected, Chad. It hasn’t been easy, but I’m doing okay I think. It’s just gonna take some time.” He shrugs, still a bit uncomfortable with this topic.

“You look like you’ve made some progress,” Chad tells him in one of his rare moments of genuine honesty, no intentions of mocking anyone.

Jensen inwardly frowns, not sure he agrees with Chad. Nevertheless, he smiles and just gives a nod of his head. Could be worse, he tells himself.


Jared mindlessly flips through the channels, not exactly interested in watching anything the television has to offer, but unable to think of anything else to keep his boredom at bay. His day had been an eventful one, with attending his classes in the morning, and then working his shift down at the bookstore. It wasn’t anything altogether unusual, it’s a routine he’s grown used to, but for some reason he’s feeling a bit more tired out than normal.

Sighing audibly out of frustration, he puts on an old episode of Friends, and tosses the remote aside. He doesn’t really plan to pay too much attention to it, just has it on for background noise as he settles comfortably into the couch cushions and closes his eyes.

He’s minutes away from escaping into a much-needed nap when his eyes snap open and he flails ungracefully, having his legs kicked off of the coffee table where they’d been propped up. He glares up at Steve, who just stares down at him with a smirk in response. “How many times do I have to tell you people, no feet on my coffee table?” He asks but it comes out sounding more like a statement.

“Maybe you just need to give up and accept the fact that no one listens to you now, and we aren’t going to, no matter how often you yell at us.” Jared gives a cheeky grin, but Steve resolutely ignores him, stepping around his feet to drop down onto the couch beside him.

“Y’all will learn some day, even if I have to beat it into you.”

Jared snickers at this but doesn’t comment. They both know Steve is talking out of his ass right now anyway. The blonde always gets irritated about these things, but nothing ever changes, and he doesn’t try too hard to make them. It’s become a moot point.

When Steve reaches for the remote, Jared doesn’t argue, just lets him turn on one of the music channels and decides that is better than what he had on to begin with. He wasn’t all that interested in watching television anyway, and at least this way he doesn’t have to even pretend to be focusing on it. Instead, he’s free to let his mind wander.

For once, he has more than just thoughts of Jensen occupying his mind. Sure, Jensen takes up a lot of room in his mind, always has and always will, but he’s also been thinking about his living conditions. Not that living with Chris and Steve is a bad situation, because it isn’t, but it was never meant to be permanent, and he knows he needs to start figuring out his options.

He enjoys having Chris and Steve as roommates, he really does, but he feels he needs his own space. Plus, Chris and Steve are in a relationship, they need their space just as much, even though he realizes they would never say so to his face. They are happy to let him stay here as long as he needs to, but he doesn’t want to let too much time pass, and he doesn’t want things to become strained between them. Not to say that will happen of course, but it’s a possibility, one Jared doesn’t want to risk.

He isn’t sure how he is going to pull this off with his salary and limited time, however. He makes a decent wage at the bookstore, and has never had cause to complain, but he doubts his salary alone would be enough to live comfortably on. Not if he hopes to find a decent place anyway, and still have enough for food and utilities. This is looking bleak, he acknowledges with a frown that Steve immediately takes notice to.

“What’s on your mind?” He asks, and Jared finds that he is not ready for this conversation. He doesn’t know how his friend will take it, and he doesn’t want to offend him.

“Options,” Jared answers vaguely, knowing this won’t be good enough for Steve, and his friend is going to drag everything out of him, whether he likes it or not.

“Way to be vague,” Steve says in a deadpan tone of voice and expression to match. “Now, would you care to give me a real answer this time?”

Jared is silent for a moment, trying to figure out a way to start this conversation without spouting everything out in a nervous ramble. “You know I appreciate everything you and Chris have done for me, right?” He asks, searching his friend’s eyes and getting a nod in return. “It meant a lot to me that you guys took me in; put a roof over my head when I needed it, but… I can’t stay here forever.”

The crease between Steve’s eyebrows deepens as a slightly bemused smile appears. “I feel as though we have had this conversation before, not all that long ago in fact,” he says teasingly, but the expression held within his eyes shows a touch of concern. “I thought I made myself clear before, but we’re not giving you the impression that we want you to leave, right?”

“No, not at all, you guys have been great,” Jared is quick to reassure, and Steve visibly relaxes, but his confusion is still evident. “I don’t want to overstay my welcome, man. And before you say anything, I know you’d let me live here for as long as I want to, but you and Chris need your own space. But, at the same time, I need my own too. I need to stand on my own two feet for once, and I’m thinking I need that sooner rather than later. This has nothing to do with you or Chris, or making me feel like I have to leave, this is all on me.”

“Calm down, Jared.” Steve laughs, giving Jared’s shoulder a friendly punch. “I understand, this is something you need to do for yourself, and I completely support you here. I’m not offended, and Chris won’t be either. I’ll admit I will be sad to see you go, but I’m happy so long as you’re happy. And I do think you and Jensen will need your own space too.” He says this with a knowing grin that Jared reciprocates, glad to see that his friend knows where he’s coming from.

He gives a soft chuckle. “That’s exactly where my mind was at when I made the decision too, but this isn’t just about Jensen and I having our own space, I really do think it’s time I got a place of my own.”

“I get it, man, no worries. Like I said, I’ll be sad to see you go, but I wouldn’t mind having more alone time with Chris, either.” He gives a rare, naughty grin that has Jared laughing.

“Dude, TMI!” He laughs again, shaking his head and reaching out to punch his friend on the arm. “I didn’t need to know that.”

“Prude.” Steve says affectionately, relaxing back into the couch cushions with a grin remaining on his face. “Now that there’s no need to worry, are you okay now?”

Jared’s good humor dries up, a sigh falling from his lips. “I have this plan in my head of what I want to do, but the problem is I don’t know if I can actually make it happen. For a part-time job, my salary ain’t half bad, but I don’t think I’ll be able to afford a place just on my paycheck alone.”

All of this was true, and nothing he hadn’t already known, but now that it was said aloud, it hit home for him. He flopped back against the couch, boneless, with a disappointed groan. “How in the hell am I gonna pull this off, Steve? I could get a decent place, but to do that I’d have to have limited utilities and give up food.” It was dramatic and not at all true, there were ways of course, but it was all rather disheartening all the same.

Steve stares at him for a long time, biting his bottom lip in thought. “Have you considered getting a roommate? Or asking Jensen to be your roommate?” He asks this as if it is the most logical choice, and Jared is a moron for not thinking of it sooner.

Jared rolls his eyes. “Yes, I have thought of that, Steve. But, I don’t think… look, I just think it’s too soon to ask Jen to move in with me. We’ve only been dating for a few weeks, we still have our issues to work out, and I’m sure it’s too soon to ask him to move in with me. We’re taking things slow, and asking him to move in is not slow.”

It’s Steve’s turn to roll his eyes, but he acquiesces with a nod of his head. “Then, if not Jensen, why not ask one of our other friends? It couldn’t hurt to see if anyone is interested in being roomies with you.”

Jared goes silent once more as he contemplates this, and has to admit that Steve has a point. There’s a chance none of his friends will be interested, but he will never know until he asks. It couldn’t hurt to find out, and if by chance someone is interested then he could start looking for his own place. This could be good for me. He smiles at the thought and sends Steve a grateful thank you for his help, to which Steve smirks and says, “Anytime, Jare.”


Jared has been acting antsy and twitchy all day. Jensen can tell there is something going on with his boyfriend, but he has yet to drag any information out of him. Jensen quirks an eyebrow when, once more, Jared fidgets in his seat. “Okay, enough, what’s going on with you?” The question bursts out of Jensen as he pushes his textbook aside and gives Jared a look.

“Thank God somebody said it; I was this close to yelling at you!” Sophia groans in exasperation, sharing Jensen’s feelings on the matter. “You haven’t been able to sit still since you walked through the door, Jare.”

“She’s right, you haven’t,” Jensen agrees as he pushes away from his desk and moves to sit on his bed in front of Jared. “Tell me, is something bothering you or are you excited about something? With you, I can never tell.” He smirks slightly as he says this, to which Jared rolls his eyes but smiles as well.

“I don’t want to break up the mood, this is supposed to be study time, and my news can wait.”

“You just told us you have news, whether it’s good or bad news is yet to be seen, but you know we’re not going to be able to get back to studying until you open your mouth and tell us.” Sophia puts in her two cents, turned completely away from her class work to give Jared her full attention.

Jared grins, looking a little embarrassed but still excited at the same time. “It’s nothing major, or even that nice, but I found a studio apartment not far from campus. I’ve been thinking for a while about getting my own place, probably with a roommate because I couldn’t find anything affordable on my own. However, I was lucky enough to find this cute little studio apartment that’s affordable on my salary, and I’ll still have enough left over each month to live comfortably.”

“That’s great, Jay! Why are you looking embarrassed? This is something to be proud of,” Jensen tells him, baffled that Jared would assume anyone would think getting your first studio apartment would be something to look down on.

“Well, I was hoping for a one or two bedroom apartment, but I suppose a studio is good enough for now.” Jared says with a nonchalant shrug, but Jensen is having none of that.

“Don’t downplay it, man, this is awesome.” He smiles as he fists his hand into Jared’s shirt and tugs him in for a kiss, not even thinking about it, just acting on instinct. He is usually a bit more reserved, even in front of just their friends, but right now, he hadn’t even given it a second thought.

“Jensen’s right, Jare, this is awesome,” Sophia says when they break apart, “and I’m so happy for you!”

Ever the excitable one, Sophia jumps up with a beaming grin, crosses the space between them, and practically pounces onto Jared, giving him a tight hug of congratulations. Jared laughs, breathless from having the wind knocked out of him, and grins over her shoulder at Jensen. He sends a small but genuine smile back at Jared, truly happy for his boyfriend. He hadn’t known Jared was looking for a new place to live, but he’s glad his boyfriend managed to find something. It certainly didn’t hurt that it was, apparently, close to campus either. Hopefully within walking distance.

“Thanks, Soph.” Jared smiles once she releases him from her tight hold, and reaches out to take Jensen’s hand in his own, squeezing gently. “I just got the keys today. After we’re done here, would you like to come see it?”

“Yes,” Jensen says simply. Like there was ever another answer.


“The place is bare, I have absolutely no furniture to my name,” Jared needlessly warns as he unlocks the door and leads the way into his new home.

“I wouldn’t have expected anything else, Jay. Besides, you’ll get everything you need eventually. Your friends are here to help.” Jensen says as he steps foot in the place and looks around curiously.

The space is small, the bedroom cum living room being the first thing you see as you walk in the door, a bathroom off to the right, and the kitchen straight ahead. The kitchen is open, taking up nearly the whole length of the back of the apartment, save for a small area cut off, making room for the bathroom. It has a fridge, decent amount of counter space and a few cupboards. It is nothing special, or very big, but enough for just Jared.

It truly isn’t the greatest but it’s his first real place of his own since he left Texas, and he’s proud of it. Jensen tells him that he has every right to feel that way, and shows no signs that he’s unimpressed. In fact, he’s looking around the small studio apartment like it’s worth gold, and that expression right there means everything to Jared.

“My parents are sending me some money to help buy some furniture, stuff for the kitchen, and for the bathroom.” Jared says as he follows Jensen into the kitchen, where the light-haired man is currently looking out the sliding glass door that leads to the small backyard.

“I told them I didn’t want any hand-outs, that I wanted to do this on my own, but you know there’s no arguing with my momma. Best I could do is get her to agree to let me pay them back in small payments.” He says this with a small smile of affection on his face, if not a bit of exasperation mixed in.

Jensen turns to face him then, crossing the distance between them to wrap his arms around Jared’s neck, leaning in to place a soft kiss to his lips. “The place is great, Jared, and I think it’s good you’re accepting help from your parents. I know, it’s just a loan,” he says quickly when Jared opens his mouth to correct him, “but you did need to borrow the money and I think it’s a good thing that you’re letting them.”

Jared smiles then, leaning in to peck Jensen on the lips, unable to resist the temptation. “Do you think you’ll enjoy spending the majority of your time here?” He asks hopefully between kisses, unable to pull himself away.

“I can already tell you that I will,” Jensen replies, their mouths not separated for long before one or the other is leaning in for another brief, but deep kiss. “I’m going to be here so often; eventually you’ll get sick of me and force me to go home.”

Jared knows this is said in a teasing manner but his response is serious and matter-of-fact. “That is never going to happen… and besides, you always have a home, right here, with me.” Whether it’s too soon to say something so serious, he doesn’t know and honestly doesn’t care, because it’s the truth, and they both know it.

Jensen’s reply was a deep, but closed-mouthed kiss that lasted much longer than the ones previous, and Jared was quick to go along with it. His hands, which had been resting on Jensen’s hips, slid up his sides as he wrapped his arms around his boyfriend’s waist. Jensen was all too happy with this as he made a pleased sound at the back of his throat and opened his mouth slightly in invitation, an invitation that Jared was not to turn down.

He slid his tongue into Jensen’s awaiting mouth with a soft moan, breathing deeply through his nose as he pressed closer to Jensen, pressing their bodies as close as physically possible but still feeling it wasn’t nearly close enough to satisfy. Their mouths slid together messily, tongues twining and moving against one another’s.

Things were quickly becoming heated, but neither of them made any moves to slow it down or stop it altogether, so Jared just went with the flow of it. He thrust his tongue sensually, repeatedly, fucking into Jensen’s mouth as Jensen moaned and clutched desperately at Jared’s shoulders. He spread his legs and pushed up into Jared, letting him feel his growing erection, and Jared knew he couldn’t stop now even if he wanted to.

He walked them backward until Jensen’s back hit the wall with a gentle thump and pressed his whole body flush with his boyfriend’s, letting Jensen ride his thigh that he has pressed between his legs. Eventually air becomes necessary, and Jensen pulls back with a gasp, but he doesn’t stop rubbing himself on Jared’s leg and Jared doesn’t stop grinding back into him, so hard it practically hurts.


Jensen feels as though his whole body is a mass of nerves, so sensitive that every touch, every kiss goes straight to his cock. It has been so long since he’s felt Jared’s hands on his body and he just can’t get enough of it. They were taking things slow, not wanting to rush with where Jensen’s head has been at, but Jensen knows that’s been tossed out now.

He couldn’t stop himself now and wouldn’t want to, he’s okay with how things have proceeded, and he needs it. He doesn’t just need the release, but he needs the intimacy, needs to feel this close to Jared again. He didn’t even realize how much he missed it until they bridged that gap and tossed caution to the wind, let go of everything that has been holding them back.

At that moment, Jared takes a step back, and Jensen moans at the loss. Jared soothingly shushes him, smiling softly as he drops to his knees, and Jensen knows where this is leading. He leans back against the wall, looking down with pleading eyes that Jared nods to in response, reaching out to open the button on his jeans and lower the zipper.

Jared’s eyes catch Jensen’s once more as he pulls him out of his jeans, holding the weight of him in his hand before giving him an experimental stroke. Jensen licks his lips, breath coming out in a gasp as he whispers, “Please,” and his lover doesn’t make him wait any longer.

Jared licks along the head of his dick, then traces from the base to the crown with just the tip of his tongue, drawing forth a broken moan from Jensen. Jared hums softly, and the vibrations course though Jensen, making it difficult to keep his hips still. Jensen voices his encouragement, sliding a hand into the soft strands of Jared’s hair, and cradles his head.

Leaning heavily against the wall, he looks down at the sinful sight of Jared taking his dick deeper into his mouth, hollowing out his cheeks and applying suction. The grip Jared has on his hips is grounding, and Jensen fights the urge to close his eyes, needing to see his boyfriend.

He’s trying not to be too vocal but this proves difficult with Jared sucking him down and bobbing his head in a steady rhythm meant to make Jensen completely lose control. It has been so long since they’ve been intimate, and Jensen knows he probably won’t last long, but he doesn’t want this to end too soon, wants to enjoy it for as long as he can.

Jared’s hands leave the cut of Jensen’s hips, sliding around to squeeze his ass and pull him deeper into his mouth. He does this a couple of times, indicating just what he wants, and Jensen reads him loud and clear. He lets himself go then, rocking his hips, thrusting into the wet heat of Jared’s mouth gently, not wanting to choke Jared. It’s a struggle to keep control of himself, but Jared’s hands, which have slid back to his hips, reassure him that Jared will hold him back if he needs to.

It only takes a couple of thrusts, with Jared working him with his mouth and throat, to have Jensen coming harder than he has in longer than he can remember. His orgasm rushed up on him so fast, and unexpectedly, that he didn’t even have time to warn Jared. He takes all that Jensen has to offer with no trouble though, milking him dry, sucking and licking until Jensen becomes too sensitive and has to gently urge him away.

Jared rocks back onto his heels, Jensen’s cock slipping from his mouth, as he grins up at him. Jensen slides down the wall, boneless and sated, and reaches out for Jared, pulling him forward and crashing their lips together. Jared moans softly and Jensen swallows the sound as he licks his way into his boyfriend’s mouth, tasting himself on Jared’s tongue.

They trade hot, lazy kisses for a few moments but Jensen is still too out of breath and has to pull away. Instead, he rests his forehead against Jared’s and smiles blissfully, enjoying a tender moment in the afterglow. When his eyes had fallen shut, he couldn’t say, but when he opens them he realizes Jared has taken his own dick in hand and is stripping it hurriedly, clearly desperate for his own release.

Jensen knocks his hand away, making Jared whine at the loss, but Jensen is all too happy to help him out. “I got ya,” he whispers, as he takes Jared into the circle of his palm and pumps him. Jared lets out a ragged moan, his hips moving of their own volition. Jensen increases the pace, his thumb sliding over the crown on each upward stroke, reducing Jared into a panting and moaning mess in the palm of his hand.

Jared is already so close to the edge, it only takes a few rough strokes of his hand to have the shaggy-haired man coming apart, his cock spurting ropes of come onto Jensen’s shirt and fist, generally making a mess of the both of them. Later Jensen will be a little irked by this, seeing as he has no other shirts with him, but for now he is too blissed out to care.

Leaning forward, Jared presses a sweet kiss to the corner of Jensen’s mouth. “Love you, Jen.”

Jensen’s lips quirk up in a small but genuine smile, green eyes meeting hazel. “God, I love you too, Jay, so much.”


With the help of his friends, and money borrowed from his parents, Jared’s apartment slowly comes together. He buys a couch with a fold out bed, a television stand and coffee table, along with a few other things for his living room. He gets all the basic things one needs for their kitchen and bathroom, and most of the stuff was found at discount stores and thrift shops. None of it is the greatest, rarely matches, but it’s his and he loves it.

Jensen spends most of his time there but has yet to stay the night. Jared has asked, numerous times, but Jensen hasn’t accepted any of his offers. He tries not to let this discourage him, he knows Jensen has his reasons, and in his own time eventually he will stay the night, but it can be difficult not to let his disappointment show.

That aside, things have been going well, or about as well as they’re going to get given the circumstances. Jensen isn’t ready for any public displays of affection, but Jared hasn’t given up hope that one day he will. Patience is a virtue, is what he always tells himself when in doubt.

He realizes Jensen may never feel comfortable with that, and while that thought is saddening, Jared knows he would never turn his back on Jensen. If they have to keep their relationship behind closed doors, and with friends and family, then Jared is okay with that. All he knows is he wants Jensen; he’s not going to give him up for anything.

A knock sounds at the door just as Jared’s soldier on the television screen receives a fatal gunshot wound, and he curses loudly at the game. Huffing, he throws down the controller, and walks to the door. Jensen and Chris stand on the other side with matching grins on their faces, and Jared ushers them in with a reciprocating one. As soon as the door is closed behind them, he pulls Jensen in for a kiss that lasts longer than he’d intended.

“You know I’m all for you two being together, and I know this is your place, son, but damn have some respect for the other people in the room!” Chris complains half-heartedly, not really upset or even annoyed, it’s more of a token protest meant to tease them.

Jensen pulls back with a laugh, patting Jared’s cheek and leaning in for a brief kiss. “I missed you too,” he whispers before stepping around Jared and dropping down onto the couch next to Chris.

“What brings you guys by?” Jared asks as he returns from the kitchen with three beers in hand, tossing one to Chris and handing Jensen the other.

Chris shrugs, popping the tab on his beer. “Went to pick up Jensen from his therapy session, said he wanted to be brought here, and so I figured I’d hang out for a while.”

“And how did that go?” Jared asks, taking a seat beside Jensen and wrapping his arm around his slender shoulders.

Jensen leans into the warmth of Jared’s body, calm and relaxed, looking up at him with a smile on his face. “It went real good. We talked about the usual things but talking about it came easier than before, so that’s progress. I’m also feeling better about things, have come to terms with it all and am working my way through all my fears and whatnot. I’m still not great, but I’m doing better.”

“Good, that’s the best news I’ve had all day,” Jared responds cheerily, pressing a kiss to Jensen’s forehead. “And how about the nightmares? Are those getting better?”

Jensen nods. “Haven’t had one every night anymore, more like one or two a week. Given time those will stop, or so I’m told.”

“I’m just glad things are getting better for you,” he says sincerely.

“As am I,” Chris adds in, smiling at Jensen before turning his attention to Jared. “Been meaning to ask you, how’s that search for a transmission going?”

“I actually located one for a decent price.” Jared responds, throwing his feet up onto the coffee table and making himself comfortable. “It’ll still take out a big chunk of my savings but it’ll be worth it.”

“Well once you’ve gotten it, let me know, I’ve got a friend who’s willing to do the work for half of the cost if you’re interested.”

“If I’m interested?” Jared asks disbelieving. “You’re going to save me some money, of course I’m interested!”

Chris chuckles at this exclamation, giving a short nod of his head and says he’ll hook Jared up whenever he’s ready for him to. Jared is beyond grateful for this and expresses as much, grinning at Jensen as he gives him a squeeze. He can’t help thinking this couldn’t have come at a better time; everything just seemed to be falling into place, like it was all meant to.

Shortly after this, he and Chris are engaged in a video game, both fighting to take out each other’s character, while Jensen sits back and watches on in amusement. The rest of the gang slowly trickles in, filling up the small space in a way the apartment wasn’t meant for, but no one complains. Most of them find themselves sitting on the floor while they idly chat and watch the game taking place between Jared and Chris.

“We’re like one big, happy family,” Mike speaks up unexpectedly, drawing the attention of everyone in the room.

“Random, much?” Tom says incredulously, but there’s no denying the amusement swimming in his ocean blue eyes.

“I’m serious,” Mike insists, looking at each member of the group. “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys. I see you more than my real family, feel closer to you than I do to them, and I just… I don’t know, I guess I only just realized that.”

Everyone grows silent at that, and Jared can’t help but realize that Mike has a point, and he hadn’t ever thought of it like that before. But, it’s true. These people are his family, he loves them to death, and, just like Mike, he can’t imagine what he’d do without any of them.

When he moved to California, he never could have dreamed that he would have this. That the people in this room would become so important to him, enough so that they’d be like his second family.

“Aw, you’re so sentimental Mikey,” Chad teases, making a feigned disgusted expression, but Jared can see beneath it. As much as Chad avoids emotional moments like this, and prefers to turn it into an option to mock someone, Jared can see how much Mike’s words have hit home with the blonde.

“Shut up,” Mike crosses his arms with a sulk. “You know I’m right.”

“Ignore this buffoon, Mike, he just doesn’t do well with emotion.” Sophia says soothingly as she slaps Chad on the arm with a glare. “I, on the other hand, appreciate the sentiment of that statement, and completely agree with you. You guys are my family away from home, and I love you all.”

“Thank you, Soph.” Mike smiles, giving Chad a smug look. “You are definitely the better half in your relationship.”

“Don’t I know it.” Sophia rolls her eyes but softens her smile as she caresses Chad’s cheek and tells him that she loves him.

Jared watches all of this in silent amusement but his own smile grows fond when he feels a squeeze to his hand, and turns his head to find Jensen looking at him with emotional eyes. Even though the others in the room may not know it, he can tell the subject has made quite an impact on his boyfriend, who has been quite emotional since the attack.


“How are you doing?”

Jensen startles, turning around to find Mike standing in the doorway to the backyard where Jensen has escaped to for a little fresh air. He smiles slightly and gives a shrug, saying he’s doing alright, which to his own ears sounds redundant at this point.

“We haven’t really had much time to talk since you’ve been back, not one on one anyway,” Mike says, uncharacteristically soft as he moves to stand at Jensen’s side. “I’m glad you’re okay, Jen. When I heard about what happened I wanted to catch the first flight out. I was really scared, afraid we were all going to lose you.”

Jensen has no idea how to respond. He appreciates the words, but how does one go about responding to them? I’m sorry? Thank you? What is the appropriate response? He doesn’t know, and he feels a bit uncomfortable. Mike seems to understand though, just smiles and pulls Jensen into a brief hug. “Just don’t scare me like that again.”

“I’ll try my best,” Jensen chuckles, embracing Mike back before letting go. He looks at his friend a bit closer, frowning in concern. “I, uh… I wasn’t sure if I should ask earlier, but, where’s Kristin? I haven’t seen her at all since I got back.”

A rueful smile forms on Mike’s face. “We broke up. We hit a rough patch back around the time of your attack, tried to work our way through it, but in the end found out we couldn’t.”

Mike shrugs, as though it’s not that big of a deal, but Jensen can tell that isn’t the truth. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out, man.”

“It’s okay, I’m not that broken up about it. I think we both decided we didn’t love each other and it was time to move on. I think what I miss most is the friendship we had.”

Jensen nods, understanding that all too well. “Maybe you guys can work it out, to regain the friendship you had.”

“Yeah… maybe.” Mike looks doubtful but he smiles anyway. “Anyways, I just wanted to say I was glad you were alright, and if you ever need a friend to talk to, you know where to find me. I know I’m not the most serious one of our friends, but I can be on occasion.” He gives a wink with that, pats Jensen on the back, and then turns to head back into the apartment.

“Thanks, Mike.” He whispers after the departing man, a smile growing on his face, one of peace and contentment, but with a little bit of sadness for his friend’s failed relationship.

Jensen is startled, once more, when a pair of arms wrap around his waist. “What are you doing out here?” Jared asks, breath ghosting over the shell of Jensen’s ear, causing a shiver to run through him.

“Just getting some air,” he responds softly, leaning back against Jared’s strong chest, hands coming to rest overtop his boyfriend’s.

“You should come back inside,” he whispers, lips trailing over Jensen’s ear, drawing the lobe into his mouth and biting down gently.

A pleasant shiver runs down the length of Jensen’s spine, fighting back a moan that wants to escape. “Stop that; don’t start anything you can’t finish.” His voice comes out a bit rough with a shaky quality to it that isn't so much from pleasure than it is from fear. He resists the urge to push Jared away, put some distance between them, but it is a tough struggle.

Jared chuckles. “Who said I couldn’t finish it,” he says as he trails a hand down Jensen’s stomach and runs over the slight bulge in his jeans, palming him gently.

Jensen gasps, from both lust and fear of being seen, even though the high wooden fence hides them from anyone’s view. “Jared…” his voice wavers with uncertainty and panicked nerves. He knows what Jared is doing, testing him, seeing if he can handle this. He’s not doing it to be cruel or pushy. In his own way, he’s trying to help.

Jared makes a soft, reassuring sound. “No one can see us, Jen, it’s just you and me out here,” he whispers, not even rubbing him anymore, just resting his hand there like he is waiting for Jensen to tell him to stop or continue.

I’m so damaged, he thinks despondently as he pushes Jared’s hand away and turns to face his boyfriend, shame written all over his features. “I’m sorry, Jay.”

Jared smiles softly, shaking his head. “You have absolutely nothing to apologize for, Jen. I know it’s still too much, too soon, but I think you did great and are doing so great. You have come so far, and are handling things better than you were a few months ago, but it’s going to take a little more time.”

“But what if I never get better?” He asks desperately, the same question he has been asking nearly every day. “I want so much to hold your hand, and kiss you without fear, to be normal and what you deserve. But, I’m afraid I may never be.”

As usual, Jared just smiles again. “First off, never think you aren’t good enough or can’t be what I deserve. You are and will always be the best thing that has ever happened to me. Secondly, you have to give yourself time, be patient with yourself, and eventually one day you’ll be ready. But, even if you aren’t, if you never are, we’ll be okay because I’m not going anywhere. I just want to be with you, Jensen, however you will have me.”

Jared draws Jensen into his arms, holding onto him tightly, and Jensen fists his hands into the back of Jared’s shirt. He feels like crying in frustration and self-hatred, but instead he buries his face into the side of Jared’s neck and holds on tight. They stand like that for a very long time, wrapped in each other’s embrace, drawing strength and comfort from one another.

Mood: blankblank
Music: Snow Patrol
deanvica23deanvica23 on April 23rd, 2014 10:21 pm (UTC)
Soon the last chapters sweetie?
FadedSparksfadedsparks on April 25th, 2014 03:33 pm (UTC)
Yes the remaining chapters will be posted soon.
LiveJournal: pingback_botlivejournal on April 24th, 2014 02:43 am (UTC)
Edition 2,867
User waterofthemoon referenced to your post from Edition 2,867 saying: [...] by (Sam/Dean/OMC, OFC/OMCs; NC-17) Fanfic: RPF Caught in the Hands of Fate 30/? [...]
TwoBlueShoes2blueshoes on April 24th, 2014 10:33 am (UTC)
They are doing so well now. I really hope you won't throw a spanner in the works.
Loved the chapter :)
FadedSparksfadedsparks on April 25th, 2014 03:35 pm (UTC)
lol does that seem like something I would do?
Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter :)