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26 July 2011 @ 04:20 am
It's Always Been You  
Title: It’s Always Been You
Author: fadedsparks
Fandom: RPS
Pairing: Jensen/Steve
Rated: PG-13
Genre: Drama, Romance
Disclaimer: This isn't meant to offend anyone and I am making no profit from it.
Summary: Things have been a little off with Jensen lately. Their easygoing friendship that never took any effort seems to be more difficult, strained in a way that it never has been before.

A/N: This is my first time writing this pairing, and I only wrote this to try to overcome a bout of writer’s block so I hope it isn’t too terrible.

It's Always Been You

The heat of a late afternoon in Texas has Steve’s shirt sticking uncomfortably to his back and the sun is doing its damnedest to shine directly in his eyes but he is relaxed and feeling better than he has in months so he can’t really bring himself to complain too much. This is the first time he has been able to just hang out with his friend, be himself, in months and he plans to take full advantage of it.

Jensen stands a few feet away, in front of the barbeque grill, every once and a while flipping burgers and a steak. The boy can’t cook worth shit, he has learned not to even try anymore, but he can sure as hell grill a mean steak. He is silent as he grills the meat and Steve can’t help but watch him with interest, stare at him, study him.

It is just the two of them here at Jensen’s Texas ranch home, Chris off with Kane, Jason spending much needed time with his wife, and Jared is in San Antonio visiting his family. Steve thinks he might prefer it this way though, just the two of them for once, having a barbeque for only them. Not to say he doesn’t want the other guys here of course, it’s just he thinks he and Jensen need a little alone time together.

Things have been a little off with Jensen lately. Their easygoing friendship that never took any effort seems to be more difficult, strained in a way that it never has been before. Steve can’t say for sure but he gets the feeling Jensen is pulling away from him, that he’s slowly losing Jen, and he’ll be damned before he lets that happen. He and Jensen have been friends for a long time and Steve isn’t going to give up on that kind of friendship without a fight.

For the life of him Steve can’t even begin to understand what has gone wrong. He doesn’t know why Jensen is pulling away from him, Steve just knows that Jensen is and he doesn’t like it one little bit. Jensen never let on that anything was wrong; things just seemed to change when Steve wasn’t looking. One minute they were friends, spending as much time together as their jobs would allow, and the next Jensen didn’t seem to have any time for him. It really confuses Steve, makes him feel less important, and he can admit that he’s hurt.

The change was a gradual one. First Jensen stopped calling as often as he used to. It got to the point where there was months between each phone call, when before Jensen would call once a week. Steve never realized how much he looked forward to that weekly call until it was gone.

Jensen has become absorbed in his life in Vancouver, spends all his time with Jared and never seems to have enough for Steve. That’s what’s bothering you the most, a voice tells him as his eyes follow Jensen’s every move and he must admit that it has a point. He may be a touch jealous of Jared Padalecki. He doesn’t feel that is the least bit unfair either. He feels like he is losing Jensen to Jared and he has yet to find a way to stop it from happening.

He wants to call Jensen out on it but a large part of him is afraid Jen won’t deny it. As long as Jensen is still denying it then Steve feels like he can still hold onto the man a bit longer. Strange logic, he realizes, but he is not ready to lose the little bit of Jensen that he still has.

Fact of the matter is though, Jared has everything Steve used to be able to call his. Jared is slowly taking Steve’s place in Jensen’s life and it leaves Steve feeling unsettled and a little lost. Jensen’s smile, the one that says you are all he can see, that smile was always for Steve and Steve alone. Now that smile is being directed at Jared. Also, Jensen has never been the physical type and it takes a damn long time just to get him to hug you. But the hugs he gave Steve were amazing, so open and affectionate in a subtle way. Jensen would wrap his arms around him, chest flush against chest, and he’d hold on tight.

Having Jensen’s smile aimed his way and being pulled into those embraces always made Steve feel special because he knew Jensen only did it for him. That has suddenly changed however, and all those things Steve used to say belonged to him now belong to Jared.

With the way Jensen acts around the kid one would have to think he’s in love with him, Steve thinks broodily to himself and then he examines those words a little closer. If Jensen is in love with Jared, or well on his way to being in love, and I’ve come to this conclusion based on his actions alone, then that would have to mean…

Steve’s eyes widen in sudden realization, feeling as though he has been hit upside the head and can finally see the truth he has denied all along. He looks over at Jensen, shock probably written all over his face, and studies him carefully. It is like seeing Jensen for the first time, the way the sun lights up the blonde in his hair and his freckles stand out in stark relief. The way his green eyes shine bright and that little half smile makes Steve’s stomach flutter most pleasantly. How could I have been so blind all these years? He questions himself in disbelief.

“You gonna stare at me all day or are you ready to eat?” Jensen asks with a chuckle, though more guarded in a way that Steve wishes he could say he hasn’t become familiar with these past few months.

Steve slides easily out of his chair and, within a few strides, is standing in Jensen’s personal space. Jensen’s eyes widen comically, moving to take a step back, but Steve’s hands frame his face and he is trapped. Jensen watches him warily, unsure and confused, and Steve just smiles before closing the remaining distance between them and fusing his mouth over Jensen’s.

Jensen lets out a startled breath and Steve takes the opportunity to slip his tongue inside to explore for the very first time, relishing the first taste of the man he has loved without even realizing it. It doesn’t even occur to him that he might be too late, that Jensen could already have moved on, be with Jared. But Jensen is now kissing back so he pushes that spout of fear away and concentrates on kissing Jensen breathless until he forgets his own name.

Jensen’s hand slide up into his hair, holding the back of his head, and deepens the kiss. A moan slips past Steve’s lips as his tongue acquaints itself with the inside of Jensen’s mouth, committing the unique taste of Jensen to memory and storing it for safe keeping.

Jensen pulls back reluctantly, fighting to catch his breath while his eyes roam over Steve’s every feature in something akin to wonder. A bright grin that makes his eyes crinkle grows on his face as his hands unconsciously clutch at Steve’s biceps. “Took you long enough,” he says with a shy smile, hot pants of breath caressing Steve’s swollen and spit slicked lips.

“I’m sorry for being a little slow on the uptake. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.” Steve responds lowly, caressing Jensen’s freckled cheek with the pad of his thumb.

“I was beginning to wonder if you’d ever figure it out but… you’re not too late,” Jensen answers Steve’s silent question and that is all he needs to hear before his mouth is once more attached to Jensen’s, licking and sucking at a pair of lips he is quickly becoming infatuated with.

Steve isn’t sure if this will work out, and he’s a little afraid of losing his best friend if this all goes sour, but as they devour one another’s mouths he figures they will just take it one step at a time and see where this takes them. Either way, he’s pretty damn sure it will be worth it in the long run.

The End

Mood: tiredtired
Music: Kenny Chesney
(Deleted comment)
FadedSparks: Jensen/Stevefadedsparks on July 29th, 2011 03:34 am (UTC)
I'm real glad to hear that. :o)